The dialogue regarding pornography and sexual addiction continues to grow and gain momentum. Whether you know it or not (yet), someone you know is struggling with or affected by sexual addiction (compulsive sexual behaviors or habits that persist even though one wants to stop and has tried repeatedly to do so). We wanted to compile a list of some of the resources that we see repeatedly help those navigating this difficult challenge. There is hope, and healing is possible!
Note: Admins of this site receive no compensation for sharing any of the following resources, and many of the resources are free.
Understanding Addiction and Recovery:
He Restoreth My Soul: Understanding and Breaking the Chemical and Spiritual Chains of Pornography through the Atonement of Jesus Christ by Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD (book)
SA Lifeline’s publication Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction: A Resource for LDS Parents and Leaders (online download available). Reading the FAQ section of this very helpful book is a great introduction to this topic.
The ABCs of Porn Addiction article and Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marbles at a Battleship (book) by Andrew at rowboatandmarbles.org
Stories of addiction recovery and healing of family members from members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (see also MormonWoman.org for stories specifically related to sexual/lust addiction and the stories tab here at Hope and Healing)
From Heartache to Healing by Philip A. Harrison – personal story of recovery from sexual addiction (book — also available online for free — scroll down on the “Author’s Published Articles” side of the page)
He Did Deliver Me From Bondage by Colleen Harrison (12-step book that used to be the book the Church used in its Addiction Recovery meetings; available online for free — scroll down on the “Author’s Published Articles” side of the page)
Understanding Healing for Spouses and Loved Ones:
The Healing Through Christ Family Support Workbook (free online download available or hard copies may be purchased)
What Can I Do About
Him Me? by Rhyll Croshaw (book)
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means (book)
LDS Spouse and Family Support resources (Guide is currently only available online, not in print; be sure to peruse stories and videos of healing from loved ones on the website as well)
Free support videos on Addo Recovery’s YouTube channel — note especially the personal stories from women and couples, and the free six-video series for spouses. (See also Addo’s website and their community for women, Bloom for Women.)
Articles by Geoff Steurer (expert in betrayal trauma)
hopeandhealinglds.com (blog includes resources and stories, the Hope and Healing Recovery Alliance post series (written specifically for those who are dating and/or married to someone struggling with pornography/lust problems) and our forum for women for online, anonymous support)
- “When Pornography Hits Home — Wives and Husbands Both Need to Heal” (April 2016 Ensign)
- “Pierced with Deep Wounds” (June 2010 Ensign — written by one of the women who helped build the Hope and Healing forum)
- “Lessons from a Milk Jug” (July 2008 Ensign)
- “Heartbreak and Hope: When A Spouse Uses Pornography” (Feb 2017 Ensign). We are so happy to see this subject being addressed more and more in mainstream Church publications. We will add two thoughts to the article. 1) Some women struggle with spiritual pain as well as emotional pain soon after the discovery of their spouse’s betrayal. Spiritual activities alone, such as scripture study, may not be sufficient self-care. See, for example, “What’s a woman to do?” by Geoff Steurer. Also, the discussion on boundaries in this article may give the impression that boundaries are an agreement of sorts between a couple. Boundaries, however, are primarily personal, and can be made and kept by an individual regardless of other’s behavior.
- “Hope, Healing, and Dealing with Addiction” (July 2008 Ensign)
Resources for dating couples:
“Love, Trust, and Truth: Talking About Pornography When You’re Dating” by Vauna Davis (online article)
“Before You Marry My Good-Hearted Son“ by the Hope and Healing Recovery Alliance (online article) — See also the rest of the articles in our #hopelds series on dating and marriage in a pornified world (see bottom of linked article for the entire series of articles)
“For those dating/engaged to someone who has dealt with porn/sex addiction/compulsion” (Hope and Healing article by Marlee)
Also see pages 28, 63-65, and 125 in SA Lifeline’s publication Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction: A Resource for LDS Parents and Leaders
“A Guide for Young Women Who Are Dating” (article at LifeStar of St. George — blunt, personal reflections from a woman whose first marriage ended because of sexual addiction of her husband. The key thing we would add is to get educated about what recovery looks like. It’s critical to understand how to ask hard questions, yes, but if you don’t know what recovery from addiction looks and sounds like, then you won’t know what to look for when you are asking questions. (Did you know, for example, that sobriety from pornography is not recovery? Recovery runs deeper. Statistics show that young men who struggle with porn before their missions will return to it if they don’t do real recovery work. Don’t be afraid. Be informed.)
Support meetings for both those struggling with addiction and for their loved ones:
See this article at HopeandHealing.com for a list of support meetings for both those who struggle with addiction and for their loved ones.
We encourage anyone and everyone to connect with a recovery community (either live, by phone, or online — a wide variety of options are available!) to learn more about how addiction works, and why willpower is not enough to overcome it.
Learn also (and especially) what recovery looks like.
Discover also what healthy living for loved ones of those with addictions is all about.
As you learn more about healing and recovery from those who have walked those paths, we hope you will come to see, as we have, that in spite of the reality of the widespread problem of pornography, knowledge about addiction and recovery is power, and can unlock the pathway to hope and healing.